So it seems that you have to know people to get ahead. Luckily, I know people, or I guess I know the people who know people. You can't understand what that means yet, but you will, I promise.
Today I am being introduced to the world of blogging, I have decided to start because I want to share the life of being a "hardwood dime," or as many of you would know, a basketball wife.
I know what you are thinking, I've got it made, but it is not all glitz and glimmer, my husband does NOT play in the NBA, we do live paycheck to paycheck, and every year we bite our fingernails in the anticipation of signing another contract.
Why do I do it? Because my husband loves basketball and I love my husband.
For the last six years, I have had the amazing opportunity to live in the three different countries outside of the U.S. We have been in Iceland, Germany, and most recently Finland. Over his eight year career, my husband has had 7 very successful years and one not so successful, or at least on paper, but no matter what I am his number one and most loyal fan.
You're probably wondering why I say this isn't the easiest life. Well, it's not. Picking up and leaving everything you know to move to an entirely different life has its challenges. Jeb (my husband, who I will speak a lot about) has loved basketball since he was a little kid, and when I met him, I made an agreement with myself that I would support his dream of playing in the NBA, no matter what it meant I had to give up. Which, at the time, was a dream of being in the entertainment industry. That dream which was more of a fantasy, dreaming about accepting awards and wearing beautiful dresses on the red carpet faded over time. Almost, forgotten you can say. And unfortunately, forgetting your own dreams can be a very dangerous thing; for a marriage and for yourself.
Losing yourself in someone else always ends in disaster, and although it seems like a good idea at the time, it will eventually create resentment and guilt for more than just you.
I learned to put all the energy I had in to Jeb's career. I planned my schedule around his game times, I went on the road trips, because I didn't want to stay by myself, and made my life about Jeb's.
I completely submerged my life in to his, and lost bits of myself along the way.
Eventually Jeb and I both figured out that wasn't working for either one of us. He felt like he was responsible for my happiness, which put an enormous amount of pressure on him, and I felt like my happiness was dependent on him. I was wrong and so was he.
I am in control of my own happiness, and what we figured out is, being happy with ourselves will make each other happy. I can and do support my husband with everything I've got but I will and do have a life of my own. I need that for my own peace of mind and sanity.
Add a baby to the mix and now, where I did not work before, I have a 24 hour job. My 18 month old son, Jaxon, is amazing. He totally filled a void, where I was empty, and watching him grow everyday is a total miracle. However adjusting to the life of a mother living overseas has not been the easiest thing to do.
The traveling sucks now, my schedule truly is dependent on him, and I find myself only making friends with moms, which really sucks because the pool of friends I have from overseas, was already a very short list.
I have to give credit where credit is due. Jeb is an amazing father. If I did not have him, I am pretty sure, I would have made Jaxon motherless by now. Since you don't know me that well yet, you don't know that I am completely joking about that, but it just goes to show you what an amazing Dad he is, it would seriously make anyone smile, watching him with Jax.
Regardless of the struggles we endure as we inch along in our life together, I wouldn't trade it for all the money in the world. I thought when we started this journey, it meant I had to trade it for my own dreams, and it turns out, I didn't have to. Although they faded in to the background some time ago, my six years overseas and Jeb's basketball career has brought them back as bright and as bold as ever.
It turns out I do have a knack for a job in the entertainment industry, my fantasy of accepting awards and red carpet gowns doesn't seem so far off, and it just so happens that Jeb's last shot has given me my first.
